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The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”“You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”“Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta. And in my past life they might find something far more grave than the selling of smuggled cigars, or barrels of brandy without a permit. So, preferring death to capture, I accomplished the most astonishing deeds, and which, more than once, showed me that the too great care we take of our bodies is the only obstacle to the success of those projects which require rapid decision, and vigorous and determined execution. In reality, when you have once devoted your life to your enterprises, you are no longer the equal of other men, or, rather, other men are no longer your equals, and whosoever has taken this resolution, feels his strength and resources doubled." Philosophy, M. Bertuccio," interrupted the Count; "you have done a little of everything in your life." Oh, excellency!" No, no; but philosophy at half-past ten at night is somewhat late; yet I have no other observation to make, for what you say is correct, which is more than can be said for all philosophy." My journeys became more.
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